I can't believe I leave for Africa in less than a month!! What craziness! I've been dreaming of this day for SO long and now the final count down begins. This year has been such a whirlwind, full of change and difficulties but growth!! I am excited to see what plans God has for me this trip and how my experiences over this past year will be used to bring glory to Him.
The other day I was looking back on past journal entries and came across an entry about my realization of God's love for me and my hopes for another trip to Malawi. Thought I would share a section:
"Is this what it's like? Your love for me? You 'like' me? Lord, I am reading 'The Wisdom of Tenderness' (thanks Keltner) and hearing about how you don't love me because you have to but because you actually like me for me, faults and all. How the thought of me brings a smile to your face. Somehow my mind began drifting to Africa. Imagining seeing all my babies again! Loving on them...being so excited to see their smiling faces again, hear their chatter, laugh with them. I began thinking of how I would express my joy in seeing them again; how they would look at me funny because I probably won't be able to stop crying! And then it hit me.... that's how much you love me- but EVEN MORE! Honestly, the fact that I can only understand this small fraction of your love is amazing yet unbelievable. I mean I think I love these kids more than I love myself- YOU love me and us even more!! And despite all flaws! I now finally get it. I know these kids are far from perfect... I've seen their "imperfections" first hand... and I. don't. care. That doesn't change my love for them. Not only my love but my like; my urgent desire to go and love on these kids. Then that's when I started thinking about actually going back- what would I do? Teaching, village evangelism, typical mission trip stuff? Not quite..... Love them. Hug them. Play with them. Relate with them. Listen to them. Focus on getting to know them, what makes them tick, learn from each other...."
The simple act of love can carry God's message father and more completely than anything else. I pray that in everything I do, I do all things with a love that only comes from Jesus.... that He allows me to be so incredibly transparent and so real, His message is relayed perfectly. "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed." Proverbs 16:3
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