Change

"I remember the sweet sensation of leaving, years ago, some 10 now, leaving Texas for who knows where. I could not have known about this beautiful place, the Oregon I have come to love, this city of great people, this smell of coffee and these evergreens reaching up into a mist of sky, these sunsets spilling over the west hills to slide a red glow down the streets of my town. And I could not have known then that if I had been born here, I would have left here, gone someplace south to deal with horses, to get on some open land where you can see tomorrow's storm brewing over a high desert. I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends; keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they will expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it's time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, becasuse a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.... And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children at play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about learning to move yourseld around water, around mountatins, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tounge for a bit. It is a beautiful word isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You never have been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be the same when you get back. It is you who will have changed." -Donald Miller Through Painted Deserts

I remember how scared I was to leave and come on this trip; how terrified I was to change; how much I allowed myself to get caught up in distraction for fear of change... a change that I knew was going to happen but had no idea exactly when or what would change. I let fear take hold but not for long because I came here didn't I? For the first time in awhile, I trusted in the Lord and took a step out in faith. This trip was my step of faith towards change. The previous passage captures so perfectly how amazing change is and how God is a God of change! He is about irreplaceable, never going back type of change! He calls us to die to our sinfulness and accept a new life with Him. He tells us to replace fleshly desires with those of Jesus Christ, a change that revolutionizes who we are as individuals... goes against human nature completely. He commands us to leave our fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers to pursue Him and spread the good news; to teach others dicipleship. As His children, he calls us to grow up and develop in our faith, which brings about constant renewal. The Lord always demands change!

And yet as humans, we fear it so much.... conscienciously and subconscienciouly. Something new or different is not always a positive thing; new things can be scary and frightening.... but not always. Because we do not know, however, this is where fear arises and takes hold. The chances are 50/50.... too high for most. This mentality leads to the idea that we shouldn't rock the boat by taking chances; things are good now aren't they? And this is where fear wins and when it does, we are telling God that we know best. Fear holds us back from the great, from the amazing, from the unimaginable! God does not call us to be fearful but to replace fear with trust... trust in Him. It is through this trust that He builds our faith; faith so great it can move mountains! He wants us to take that chance, that 50/50 chance, and embrace whatever the outcome and give Him all the glory despite eveything. Life is too short and passes too quickly. Not only that but we don't know when our time will come to an end. As everyday passes, His coming draws near! Don't miss out on the unimaginable and settle for the good. Don't put God in that box. I have for too long and I can't anymore! Through my time in Africa and working with these children, the Lord has showed me how little is accomplished when we let fear win. If I let fear win, I would have never been with these children... seen them smile or hear them laugh! Never made these amazing memories! Never understood half the things God has revealed to me! Don't let fear win in your life. Don't settle for just good. Allow God to show you things you could have never dreamed of!!!