More to come :)
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The time has come...
So these past two weeks have been a whirlwind!! So many amazing activities and experiences; I haven't had time to process it all yet! Last Monday we left Chiwengo :( Tears were shed and goodbyes said. Definitely one of the hardest moments of my life! Leaving the children, I had to trust in the Lord that the seeds we planted will be taken care of by God. He will bear fruit that will last! From Chiwengo we got to go on SAFARI!! I saw elephants, zebra, hippos, warthogs, crocs, and tons of deer/antelope type animals. One of the most amazing moments; one that I will never forget! We also got to go to Lake Malawi where we debriefed and relaxed. As I was watching the sunrise on the shores of Lake Malawi, it dawned on me that God brought me here. Of course my head knew this, but for the first time I felt it! The sunrise was His way of showing me His glory... the glory that I am to help others see and just a glimpse of the glory that He has in store for me in eternity. I felt destined to be in Africa in that moment. In that moment, I also knew He had created me to enjoy that sunrise. It was the most beautiful and unexpected thing for me! God showed up when I least expected it! My time is short today because I am getting ready to leave for the airport... 25 more minutes actually! I can't believe that it is over... no more time in Africa :( The past two months flew by and it is yet to hit me. I'm curious to see when exactly it does and what I'll feel. Be praying for safe travels and a smooth transition back into my "American" life again. I will update again soon with more details of the past 2 weeks and PICTURES!!!!!! I miss everyone dearly and will be home soon! Thank you for all your love and support over the months :)
By the way, I'm not sure if everyone has heard but my blog was featured in an article on COTN's website! I had no idea and was super excited when I found out! Here is the link: http://www.cotni.org/articles/446-a-heart-for-africa-in-malawi
By the way, I'm not sure if everyone has heard but my blog was featured in an article on COTN's website! I had no idea and was super excited when I found out! Here is the link: http://www.cotni.org/articles/446-a-heart-for-africa-in-malawi
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Change
"I remember the sweet sensation of leaving, years ago, some 10 now, leaving Texas for who knows where. I could not have known about this beautiful place, the Oregon I have come to love, this city of great people, this smell of coffee and these evergreens reaching up into a mist of sky, these sunsets spilling over the west hills to slide a red glow down the streets of my town. And I could not have known then that if I had been born here, I would have left here, gone someplace south to deal with horses, to get on some open land where you can see tomorrow's storm brewing over a high desert. I could not have known then that everybody, every person, has to leave, has to change like seasons; they have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God's way. All my life I have been changing. I changed from a baby to a child, from soft toys to play daggers. I changed into a teenager to drive a car, into a worker to spend money. I will change into a husband to love a woman, into a father to love a child, change houses so we are near water, and again so we are near mountains, and again so we are near friends; keep changing with my wife, getting our love so it dies and gets born again and again, like a garden, fed by four seasons, a cycle of change. Everybody has to change, or they will expire. Everybody has to leave, everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it's time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, becasuse a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.... And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children at play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about learning to move yourseld around water, around mountatins, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out. I want to repeat one word for you: Leave. Roll the word around on your tounge for a bit. It is a beautiful word isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You never have been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be the same when you get back. It is you who will have changed." -Donald Miller Through Painted Deserts
I remember how scared I was to leave and come on this trip; how terrified I was to change; how much I allowed myself to get caught up in distraction for fear of change... a change that I knew was going to happen but had no idea exactly when or what would change. I let fear take hold but not for long because I came here didn't I? For the first time in awhile, I trusted in the Lord and took a step out in faith. This trip was my step of faith towards change. The previous passage captures so perfectly how amazing change is and how God is a God of change! He is about irreplaceable, never going back type of change! He calls us to die to our sinfulness and accept a new life with Him. He tells us to replace fleshly desires with those of Jesus Christ, a change that revolutionizes who we are as individuals... goes against human nature completely. He commands us to leave our fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers to pursue Him and spread the good news; to teach others dicipleship. As His children, he calls us to grow up and develop in our faith, which brings about constant renewal. The Lord always demands change!
And yet as humans, we fear it so much.... conscienciously and subconscienciouly. Something new or different is not always a positive thing; new things can be scary and frightening.... but not always. Because we do not know, however, this is where fear arises and takes hold. The chances are 50/50.... too high for most. This mentality leads to the idea that we shouldn't rock the boat by taking chances; things are good now aren't they? And this is where fear wins and when it does, we are telling God that we know best. Fear holds us back from the great, from the amazing, from the unimaginable! God does not call us to be fearful but to replace fear with trust... trust in Him. It is through this trust that He builds our faith; faith so great it can move mountains! He wants us to take that chance, that 50/50 chance, and embrace whatever the outcome and give Him all the glory despite eveything. Life is too short and passes too quickly. Not only that but we don't know when our time will come to an end. As everyday passes, His coming draws near! Don't miss out on the unimaginable and settle for the good. Don't put God in that box. I have for too long and I can't anymore! Through my time in Africa and working with these children, the Lord has showed me how little is accomplished when we let fear win. If I let fear win, I would have never been with these children... seen them smile or hear them laugh! Never made these amazing memories! Never understood half the things God has revealed to me! Don't let fear win in your life. Don't settle for just good. Allow God to show you things you could have never dreamed of!!!
I remember how scared I was to leave and come on this trip; how terrified I was to change; how much I allowed myself to get caught up in distraction for fear of change... a change that I knew was going to happen but had no idea exactly when or what would change. I let fear take hold but not for long because I came here didn't I? For the first time in awhile, I trusted in the Lord and took a step out in faith. This trip was my step of faith towards change. The previous passage captures so perfectly how amazing change is and how God is a God of change! He is about irreplaceable, never going back type of change! He calls us to die to our sinfulness and accept a new life with Him. He tells us to replace fleshly desires with those of Jesus Christ, a change that revolutionizes who we are as individuals... goes against human nature completely. He commands us to leave our fathers, mothers, sisters, and brothers to pursue Him and spread the good news; to teach others dicipleship. As His children, he calls us to grow up and develop in our faith, which brings about constant renewal. The Lord always demands change!
And yet as humans, we fear it so much.... conscienciously and subconscienciouly. Something new or different is not always a positive thing; new things can be scary and frightening.... but not always. Because we do not know, however, this is where fear arises and takes hold. The chances are 50/50.... too high for most. This mentality leads to the idea that we shouldn't rock the boat by taking chances; things are good now aren't they? And this is where fear wins and when it does, we are telling God that we know best. Fear holds us back from the great, from the amazing, from the unimaginable! God does not call us to be fearful but to replace fear with trust... trust in Him. It is through this trust that He builds our faith; faith so great it can move mountains! He wants us to take that chance, that 50/50 chance, and embrace whatever the outcome and give Him all the glory despite eveything. Life is too short and passes too quickly. Not only that but we don't know when our time will come to an end. As everyday passes, His coming draws near! Don't miss out on the unimaginable and settle for the good. Don't put God in that box. I have for too long and I can't anymore! Through my time in Africa and working with these children, the Lord has showed me how little is accomplished when we let fear win. If I let fear win, I would have never been with these children... seen them smile or hear them laugh! Never made these amazing memories! Never understood half the things God has revealed to me! Don't let fear win in your life. Don't settle for just good. Allow God to show you things you could have never dreamed of!!!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Another week in the life... of me :)
This past week has been an interesting one, in that our schedule was completely disrupted by a funeral in our village. We arrived back from midway retreat on Monday afternoon to a yard-full of kids, which was awesome! Even though we were only gone 2 days, the children were so happy to have us back and welcomed us with tons of hugs and smiles :) Tuesday we were able to have a normal day with tutoring and devotions but that night we received news that an elderly woman in the village had died. When this happens in African culture, the whole village shuts down; it's pretty much like a snow day in GA, well like a snow storm. All organized activities were cancelled, children were asked to stay indoors, no singing (which is huge here; everyone sings. seriously.)... pretty much had to maintain a somber environment. And everyone in the village is required to visit the home for an extended amount of time (like hours) and come to the burial. If not, it is highly looked down upon... you look very uncaring. The funeral requirements lasted until Saturday AM, when everything went back to normal. It was so weird to me at first to think about this. There is no way in America that this would ever happen! Funerals are meant for family and friends; here, even if you didn't know the person, yet lived in the same area, you went to their funeral. But then I thought about Romans 12:15 when Paul was talking about loving others..."Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." When I went into the home of the woman who died, I kept repeating this verse over and over. Although this was strange, different from my culture, and I was completely out of my comfort zone, I thought it was fantastic because I was able to show these people love by being able to mourn with them. This was so significant because.... we could not speak the same language. It was incredibly encouraging to think that God's love has no boundaries, not even language! Even though I was frustrated with how the funeral messed up our opportunities to be with the kids, especially with only 3 weeks left, God surprised me with this little life lesson :) lol.
We are experiencing some "new" interactions with the kids this weeks as well. It has come to our attention that our kids are not as angelic as we think.... it is easy to forget that they are sinners too and still understanding what their faith is when living in a Christian environment. Comfortablity is begining to sink in and with that, the veil has been lifted and they are no longer poor, needy orphans who can do no wrong. They are normal children who are going through normal, sinful behavior. My prayer is that we can continue to love them how God calls us to whatever that is. I'm still figuring it out. Though my time here is getting shorter by the day, I will continue to persevere because that is what God is calling me to do. "Let hold unswearvingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us spur on toward love and good deeds....So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10: 23-24;35-36. Pray for the softening of these kids hearts and the penetration of God's word. Also be praying that we can continue our service with the same zeal and enthusiasm we had during our first weeks here; may we take one day at a time and finish strong!
As for healing in our group, continue to pray for that.... there seems to be a cold going around and some stomach viruses as well. Jessica's leg is healed up... no more staff infection! Great answer to prayer! We are still in need of sponsors for the twin boys waiting to come into Chiwengo. Continue prayer in this area as well.
Hope life back in the states is wonderful for everyone and that the summer has been amazingly fun! Heard Lindsey Lohan is in jail again.... uh oh lol gotta love celebrity dirt. We should pray for her too :)
We are experiencing some "new" interactions with the kids this weeks as well. It has come to our attention that our kids are not as angelic as we think.... it is easy to forget that they are sinners too and still understanding what their faith is when living in a Christian environment. Comfortablity is begining to sink in and with that, the veil has been lifted and they are no longer poor, needy orphans who can do no wrong. They are normal children who are going through normal, sinful behavior. My prayer is that we can continue to love them how God calls us to whatever that is. I'm still figuring it out. Though my time here is getting shorter by the day, I will continue to persevere because that is what God is calling me to do. "Let hold unswearvingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us spur on toward love and good deeds....So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10: 23-24;35-36. Pray for the softening of these kids hearts and the penetration of God's word. Also be praying that we can continue our service with the same zeal and enthusiasm we had during our first weeks here; may we take one day at a time and finish strong!
As for healing in our group, continue to pray for that.... there seems to be a cold going around and some stomach viruses as well. Jessica's leg is healed up... no more staff infection! Great answer to prayer! We are still in need of sponsors for the twin boys waiting to come into Chiwengo. Continue prayer in this area as well.
Hope life back in the states is wonderful for everyone and that the summer has been amazingly fun! Heard Lindsey Lohan is in jail again.... uh oh lol gotta love celebrity dirt. We should pray for her too :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Just a quickie
Ok so I literally just spent an hour trying to upload pictures.... and I managed to be able to upload one (its the one picture in my slide show lol)! Frustrating!! So bc of that I have no time to blog :(
Some important news though.... we are hoping to receive 2 new children at Chiwango next week! This is all dependent on whether the children get sponsored in time; they are two twin boys. If anyone is interested in sponsoring a child ($43 a month for children in the orphan homes), please email our leader Jenn at jennleigh@gmail.com asap! It would be greatly appreciated! Pray for sponsorship and safety for these children bc if they are coming to COTN, they are in desperate need... we take dire cases only.
Sorry for the short blog. Can't wait for more updates next week!!!
Some important news though.... we are hoping to receive 2 new children at Chiwango next week! This is all dependent on whether the children get sponsored in time; they are two twin boys. If anyone is interested in sponsoring a child ($43 a month for children in the orphan homes), please email our leader Jenn at jennleigh@gmail.com asap! It would be greatly appreciated! Pray for sponsorship and safety for these children bc if they are coming to COTN, they are in desperate need... we take dire cases only.
Sorry for the short blog. Can't wait for more updates next week!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Midway retreat
So this weekend was our midway retreat... we officially have one more month in Africa! And I have a random opportunity to use the internet!! Yea!! I can't believe how much I miss having it, especially since I am so use to having my iphone at my fingertips! This weekend has been extremely nice; just a relaxing time to be able to fellowship with other interns from surrounding areas and talk about our experiences. I had ice cream for the first time in over a month; it was awesome! We also had a BBQ and a DANCE PARTY last night!!!!!!! For two hours we broke it down and I stayed up till 10:30 haha! Has only happened one other time when we stayed up to watch Ghana play in the World Cup. Omg and I got to dance! It was pretty much amazing! Even better, I got to see Edina again! She wasn't as shy this time, which was great! Her mother invited me to come to their home yesterday; so today, I was able to go and sit with them for about an hour. I found out that 2 weeks ago, Edina was sick with malaria and had to go to the hospital. I also found out that I was able to help with her recovery.... COTN pays for sponsored children's medical care! I was incredibly thankful for that because her mother said she was extremely sick and it was a very scary time for her. Praise Jesus that she is ok! Oh and I got to take a hot shower!!! I've never realized more than my time here, that it is definitely the small things in life that bring me the most joy! Probably one of my favorite moments from the weekend would have to be church. Today we got to go to an American-style church!!! It felt so amazing to praise God in English and to be able to sing and understand fully what I was hearing for the first time since I've been here. It was refreshing and a revitalizing moment for me; one that I didn't realize I needed until it happened. And it was so nice to feel connected through a familiar church!
Although this weekend has been great and I have enjoyed it, I am even more excited to get back to the kids! Before we left, one of our kids, Isaiwallie, came to me saying he was sad that we weren't going to be there this weekend to read them bedtime stories! He seemed pretty upset about it, which was the motivation I need to continue my work over these next 4 weeks. The fact that he was genuinely bummed out that we weren't going to be there was God's way of showing me that my work here is not in vain! We are having an impact on these children's lives and are a part of his plan. His timing is perfect... "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." Ecclesiastes 4:11-14.
Quick prayer request.... one of the girls on our team, Jessica, has a flesh eating disease. Ok not really, but she has developed this weird blister/hole on her ankle, which has also become swollen and painful to walk on. She did go to the clinic and the doctors and treating her for a staph infection-- they think it might have been a bug bite that got infected. Key words... they think. Please be praying for a fast recovery, that there are not any more complications, and that it is not anything more serious.
More to come Tuesday :)
Although this weekend has been great and I have enjoyed it, I am even more excited to get back to the kids! Before we left, one of our kids, Isaiwallie, came to me saying he was sad that we weren't going to be there this weekend to read them bedtime stories! He seemed pretty upset about it, which was the motivation I need to continue my work over these next 4 weeks. The fact that he was genuinely bummed out that we weren't going to be there was God's way of showing me that my work here is not in vain! We are having an impact on these children's lives and are a part of his plan. His timing is perfect... "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." Ecclesiastes 4:11-14.
Quick prayer request.... one of the girls on our team, Jessica, has a flesh eating disease. Ok not really, but she has developed this weird blister/hole on her ankle, which has also become swollen and painful to walk on. She did go to the clinic and the doctors and treating her for a staph infection-- they think it might have been a bug bite that got infected. Key words... they think. Please be praying for a fast recovery, that there are not any more complications, and that it is not anything more serious.
More to come Tuesday :)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Week 3
"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13b-14
This weeek has been SO great!! I absolutely love being with the children and serving Christ by loving them! My continual prayer is that they are able to associate my love for them as a direct result of God being in my life. Although the world may consider them orphaned and alone, they are not bc they are and have been chosen as God's children, Not only do they have a heavenly fatherbut they have multiple people ALL OVER the world who love them... due to their status as COTN children. I hope that I can continue to show them love and they in fact realize how much they are loved by so many!
The children of COTN are unique in that they are raised with a christian upbringing. Avery intense one by American standards. Their mornings begin with devotions and their nights end with them. They have verses to memorize every week and outreach outings to attend twice a week. Every Sunday is church (Malawian church mind you, which the past 2 Sundays has lasted 5 hours.... not exaggerating!) and the week sometimes ends with an occassional all-night prayer session ( we had one this past Friday that lasted til 4 AM. Needless to say, I was a slacker and only made it to 11:15 lol). I think it's fantastic that they are surrounded by God during a majority of their days; however, this can lead to a false sense of an intimate realtionship with Christ. Bc they are extremely knowledgeable about who God is and the Bible in general, it is important to make sure that they truely understand what it means to be a Christian and have a relationship with Christ. This is where we, as interns, come in to minister. We are here a longer period of time that most that visit Chiwango and are able to gain the children's trust, developing relationships with them. Right now, we are beginning to gain their trust and are praying for opportunities to learn more about individuals' take on God and what he mean in their lives. Please be praying for continual progress in this area as it is our ministry focus for the children of Chiwango.
One of the highlights of my week was the progress I made with a little 5 year old boy named William. When I first saw William, I instantly fell in LOVE with him! He is the CUTEST little boy EVER! The best word to describe himis stout and he looks like a smaller version of a grown man! William came to COTN in December; I still haven't been able to find out details about his past but I hope to soon. He was so reserved at first and stand offish but over this past week, he has opened up so much! He is always laughing (he has an awesome laugh!) and smiling; it's contagious! His new favorite thing to do, and mine to receive, is to give people "hugies," emphasis on the "e." He'll look at you and say, "Hugieeeeee!" then give you the biggest hug (he is so strong) and KISS YOU ON THE CHEEK!! Seriously he melts my heart!!
**
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The Lord is teaching me so many amazing things about himself; how big, mighty, and powerful he truely is and how small and unworthy I am. Since I've been here, the Lord has taken the time to humble me. At home, it was so easy for meto engulf myself in distractions.... school, friends, TV, internet, cell phone, etc., while here, I have very little to distract me. Ok, really nothing to distract me haha! Bc of thi, I have had to face reality, that being God. It has been a scary, embarassing, shameful, eye-opening, powerful, and amazing time; a rollercoaster of emotions that have forced me to realize what I am, a sinner, and what it feels like to be a sinner. For too long I've been prideful without knowing I was being prideful! I had been self-rightous without realizing myself-rightousness! I had been so consumed with my own ambitions that I forgot my true calling! I needed to be reminded of my purpose and how God's plan for me is bigger and better than my own plan for myself. I thank God and praise him for allowing me to experience a newness that is only made perfect in weakness.
Please pray for this renewal process. It has just begubn and will continue long after I return home. He is teaching me that this will not be a quick, overnight thing; it will require time and patience. "When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:21-25.
I thank those of you who are praying for myself and my team members. There have been no more real issues of sickness, with the exception of a cold among one of the girls. My nightmare issue went away the same night I wrote asking for prayer and I haven't had anyissues since!! Thank you Jesus :) Our team unity did take a slight blow last week; some people were having personal issues that were intensified due to a lack of communication and cultural differences. Issues were resolved but it really shook me up bc I realized how badly Satan wants to destroy the amazing harmony of our group and have it impact our work with the children. We must be constantly prepared for this; please continue this prayer request.
Onto week 3 at Chiwango.... Pray for revolutionary things! I miss everyone greatly! xoxoxoxo
This weeek has been SO great!! I absolutely love being with the children and serving Christ by loving them! My continual prayer is that they are able to associate my love for them as a direct result of God being in my life. Although the world may consider them orphaned and alone, they are not bc they are and have been chosen as God's children, Not only do they have a heavenly fatherbut they have multiple people ALL OVER the world who love them... due to their status as COTN children. I hope that I can continue to show them love and they in fact realize how much they are loved by so many!
The children of COTN are unique in that they are raised with a christian upbringing. Avery intense one by American standards. Their mornings begin with devotions and their nights end with them. They have verses to memorize every week and outreach outings to attend twice a week. Every Sunday is church (Malawian church mind you, which the past 2 Sundays has lasted 5 hours.... not exaggerating!) and the week sometimes ends with an occassional all-night prayer session ( we had one this past Friday that lasted til 4 AM. Needless to say, I was a slacker and only made it to 11:15 lol). I think it's fantastic that they are surrounded by God during a majority of their days; however, this can lead to a false sense of an intimate realtionship with Christ. Bc they are extremely knowledgeable about who God is and the Bible in general, it is important to make sure that they truely understand what it means to be a Christian and have a relationship with Christ. This is where we, as interns, come in to minister. We are here a longer period of time that most that visit Chiwango and are able to gain the children's trust, developing relationships with them. Right now, we are beginning to gain their trust and are praying for opportunities to learn more about individuals' take on God and what he mean in their lives. Please be praying for continual progress in this area as it is our ministry focus for the children of Chiwango.
One of the highlights of my week was the progress I made with a little 5 year old boy named William. When I first saw William, I instantly fell in LOVE with him! He is the CUTEST little boy EVER! The best word to describe himis stout and he looks like a smaller version of a grown man! William came to COTN in December; I still haven't been able to find out details about his past but I hope to soon. He was so reserved at first and stand offish but over this past week, he has opened up so much! He is always laughing (he has an awesome laugh!) and smiling; it's contagious! His new favorite thing to do, and mine to receive, is to give people "hugies," emphasis on the "e." He'll look at you and say, "Hugieeeeee!" then give you the biggest hug (he is so strong) and KISS YOU ON THE CHEEK!! Seriously he melts my heart!!
**
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
The Lord is teaching me so many amazing things about himself; how big, mighty, and powerful he truely is and how small and unworthy I am. Since I've been here, the Lord has taken the time to humble me. At home, it was so easy for meto engulf myself in distractions.... school, friends, TV, internet, cell phone, etc., while here, I have very little to distract me. Ok, really nothing to distract me haha! Bc of thi, I have had to face reality, that being God. It has been a scary, embarassing, shameful, eye-opening, powerful, and amazing time; a rollercoaster of emotions that have forced me to realize what I am, a sinner, and what it feels like to be a sinner. For too long I've been prideful without knowing I was being prideful! I had been self-rightous without realizing myself-rightousness! I had been so consumed with my own ambitions that I forgot my true calling! I needed to be reminded of my purpose and how God's plan for me is bigger and better than my own plan for myself. I thank God and praise him for allowing me to experience a newness that is only made perfect in weakness.
Please pray for this renewal process. It has just begubn and will continue long after I return home. He is teaching me that this will not be a quick, overnight thing; it will require time and patience. "When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:21-25.
I thank those of you who are praying for myself and my team members. There have been no more real issues of sickness, with the exception of a cold among one of the girls. My nightmare issue went away the same night I wrote asking for prayer and I haven't had anyissues since!! Thank you Jesus :) Our team unity did take a slight blow last week; some people were having personal issues that were intensified due to a lack of communication and cultural differences. Issues were resolved but it really shook me up bc I realized how badly Satan wants to destroy the amazing harmony of our group and have it impact our work with the children. We must be constantly prepared for this; please continue this prayer request.
Onto week 3 at Chiwango.... Pray for revolutionary things! I miss everyone greatly! xoxoxoxo
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
FINALLLYYYY!!!!
Technology!!! So sorry for the delay!! I'm afraid that my hopes for blogging everyday are not possible :(
The village we are staying at does not have internet access and the closest place is in town... a 20 minute bike taxi. Yes bike taxi, which is just like it sounds; someone rode the bike while I sat on the back in a seat thing. It was quite the experience! Because of this and limited time off, we will only being going into town once a week. But don't worry, I'm writing everthing down as it goes along so I can post as much info as possible.
Our plane ride here was extremely longggg and we all arrived safe with no problems. I was very blessed to be able to hang out with 2 friends from back home who were also on a mission trip with the same organization; they were on a 10 day trip (Shout out Ashley and Keltner lol. I miss u guys SO much!!). Seeing them was extremely comforting and made my transition to Africa much easier. Saying goodbye was hard; much harder than I though it would be in fact. I wish they could have stayed and been there the whole two months :(
Two weeks. I've officially been in Africa for 2 weeks. I'm seriously not exaggerating when I say it feels like I've been here for 2 months already! Time moves so slowly here, mostly because no one is very punctual. When something starts at 2 PM, it really won't get started till 2:30-3:00. It's definitely a change but kind of nice to not have to be so time oriented like back at home. Another reason why days feel so long is because of our conditions. We are living in a house.... but we have no running water. Anywhere. We have to fetch water from the boar hole, an outdoor water pump, about a thousand times a day (not really but it sure does feel like it). It's amazing how much water you use and I didn't realize it until having to physically retrieve it lol! Flushing toilets, washing dishes, cooking, washing hands, cleaning, laundry, and bucket baths (Yes, BUCKET baths.... remember no running water) for 16 people is a TON of water per day. Needless to say I've officially become a Malawian woman... I carry all of my water on my head and have worked my way up from a 5 gallon bucket to a 30 gallon bucket (just wait for the pics lol). We carry water about 300 ft. to the house and store it in multiple bins around the house. To add to our water problems, the electricity fluctuates often. And I mean often! Last week the power went out everyday except on 2 days. It wouldn't be so bad if it meant that lights out didn't happen during cooking meals (we rotate cooking meals for everyone weekly so I am definitely hoaning my cooking skills). Lights out when cooking means that you have to start a fire in the back and cook on an open flame, which delays dinner at least 30 minutes maybe longer. Our cooking group has had to do this once... not really that fun haha! And sanitation/hygine is a whole other issue which I might devote an entire blog section too hahaha! Even though it is difficult having irregular electricity, no running water, limited food, no access to technology regularly (no cellphones, TV, ipods, computers, etc.), I am literally LOVING every second because I am able to experience the life of a typical Malawian; something that not many people get to do. I feel so blessed to be able to experience conditions that I am not accustom to and it makes me appreciate my living situations at home SO much!!! It is only week 2 so I'm curious to see how I feel at week 8 jkjk :)
To recap for those of you that don't know, I am staying in the village of Chiwango, located 2 hours north of the capital Lilongewe. Our main purpose is to work, interact, and play with children at the COTN orphanage. A typical day =
* 5:30-7:30.... working in the children's homes getting them read for school and doing chores
* 7:30- 8... breakfast
* 8:30... devotions with interns
* 9-12 PM.... this is when I get to teach nutrition and hygine classes with the kids and house parents!!
* 12:30... lunch
* 1-2... free time aka nap time or playing with the kids
* 2-4... tutoring with the kids; I help with 8th grade
* 4-5:30... play time with the kids
* 6.... dinner
* 7... house devotions at the children's homes.... I led my first one last night :)
* 8... bedtime stories and tucking in children
* 9.... lights out!
** On Thursday and Fri, instead of tutoring, we go into surrounding villages to do outreach and minister
So as you can see our days are relatively full; however, for me, it hasn't been that overwhelming yet. I think it is bc I am literally taking one day at a time. If I think too far in advance, I start to freak out so I'm trying not to do that! In terms of prayer....
* a lot of people have been getting sick and we're not exactly sure why. We think it's bc of the food. Our intern leader got so sick that she had to go to the hospital! Continue to pray for this issue because it seems to be plaguing our group.
* Children. Tomorrow our 8th graders are taking their major exams to continue on in their education. If they do not pass, they must retake 8th grade. Their test covers a lot of information so pray for their studying, confidence, and test-taking skills.
* Team realations. We have been fortunate to have no real issues but that doesn't mean that there won't be. I have enjoyed getting to know everyone especially those from Malawi (we have 6 national interns aka those from Malawi and 10 from the states). Please, please pray for a peaceful home and environment.
* My dreams. I know this is a really weird prayer request but I have been having the worst nightmare/ night terrors. I've had issues with this in the past and supposively our malaria medicine can highten dreams, which it definitely is. They are definitely frightening and are starting to become quite distracting; I have 2 yesterday... one during my nap and one during the night. Please be praying that these diminish. I need to stop watching so much CSI haha.
Now to the best part... THE KIDS!! Happy to report that I got to see Edina, my sponsored child!! I pretty much hassled every leader I could, hinting around a lot about how much I wanted to see her! And I got to on my second day there and once more before I left. Unfortunately I don't have the time to go into detail but it was awesome! She is 2 hours from where I am staying so I won't be able to see her that much more; I should have 2 more weekends with her before I leave. It was SO amazing to see her again after 2 years and I feel incredibly greatful that God has answered my prayers to see her again. She is so precious to me. Gah, I love her!
I have so much more to tell but I have to get off the internet now :( We have 16 people and only 4 computers so I have to share lol. Next time I will tell more of the children in Chiwango and what God is doing both in their lives and mine as well. Because of the limited internet time, this is pretty much going to be my outlet. Emailing everyone will take FOREVER so forgive me!
LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
The village we are staying at does not have internet access and the closest place is in town... a 20 minute bike taxi. Yes bike taxi, which is just like it sounds; someone rode the bike while I sat on the back in a seat thing. It was quite the experience! Because of this and limited time off, we will only being going into town once a week. But don't worry, I'm writing everthing down as it goes along so I can post as much info as possible.
Our plane ride here was extremely longggg and we all arrived safe with no problems. I was very blessed to be able to hang out with 2 friends from back home who were also on a mission trip with the same organization; they were on a 10 day trip (Shout out Ashley and Keltner lol. I miss u guys SO much!!). Seeing them was extremely comforting and made my transition to Africa much easier. Saying goodbye was hard; much harder than I though it would be in fact. I wish they could have stayed and been there the whole two months :(
Two weeks. I've officially been in Africa for 2 weeks. I'm seriously not exaggerating when I say it feels like I've been here for 2 months already! Time moves so slowly here, mostly because no one is very punctual. When something starts at 2 PM, it really won't get started till 2:30-3:00. It's definitely a change but kind of nice to not have to be so time oriented like back at home. Another reason why days feel so long is because of our conditions. We are living in a house.... but we have no running water. Anywhere. We have to fetch water from the boar hole, an outdoor water pump, about a thousand times a day (not really but it sure does feel like it). It's amazing how much water you use and I didn't realize it until having to physically retrieve it lol! Flushing toilets, washing dishes, cooking, washing hands, cleaning, laundry, and bucket baths (Yes, BUCKET baths.... remember no running water) for 16 people is a TON of water per day. Needless to say I've officially become a Malawian woman... I carry all of my water on my head and have worked my way up from a 5 gallon bucket to a 30 gallon bucket (just wait for the pics lol). We carry water about 300 ft. to the house and store it in multiple bins around the house. To add to our water problems, the electricity fluctuates often. And I mean often! Last week the power went out everyday except on 2 days. It wouldn't be so bad if it meant that lights out didn't happen during cooking meals (we rotate cooking meals for everyone weekly so I am definitely hoaning my cooking skills). Lights out when cooking means that you have to start a fire in the back and cook on an open flame, which delays dinner at least 30 minutes maybe longer. Our cooking group has had to do this once... not really that fun haha! And sanitation/hygine is a whole other issue which I might devote an entire blog section too hahaha! Even though it is difficult having irregular electricity, no running water, limited food, no access to technology regularly (no cellphones, TV, ipods, computers, etc.), I am literally LOVING every second because I am able to experience the life of a typical Malawian; something that not many people get to do. I feel so blessed to be able to experience conditions that I am not accustom to and it makes me appreciate my living situations at home SO much!!! It is only week 2 so I'm curious to see how I feel at week 8 jkjk :)
To recap for those of you that don't know, I am staying in the village of Chiwango, located 2 hours north of the capital Lilongewe. Our main purpose is to work, interact, and play with children at the COTN orphanage. A typical day =
* 5:30-7:30.... working in the children's homes getting them read for school and doing chores
* 7:30- 8... breakfast
* 8:30... devotions with interns
* 9-12 PM.... this is when I get to teach nutrition and hygine classes with the kids and house parents!!
* 12:30... lunch
* 1-2... free time aka nap time or playing with the kids
* 2-4... tutoring with the kids; I help with 8th grade
* 4-5:30... play time with the kids
* 6.... dinner
* 7... house devotions at the children's homes.... I led my first one last night :)
* 8... bedtime stories and tucking in children
* 9.... lights out!
** On Thursday and Fri, instead of tutoring, we go into surrounding villages to do outreach and minister
So as you can see our days are relatively full; however, for me, it hasn't been that overwhelming yet. I think it is bc I am literally taking one day at a time. If I think too far in advance, I start to freak out so I'm trying not to do that! In terms of prayer....
* a lot of people have been getting sick and we're not exactly sure why. We think it's bc of the food. Our intern leader got so sick that she had to go to the hospital! Continue to pray for this issue because it seems to be plaguing our group.
* Children. Tomorrow our 8th graders are taking their major exams to continue on in their education. If they do not pass, they must retake 8th grade. Their test covers a lot of information so pray for their studying, confidence, and test-taking skills.
* Team realations. We have been fortunate to have no real issues but that doesn't mean that there won't be. I have enjoyed getting to know everyone especially those from Malawi (we have 6 national interns aka those from Malawi and 10 from the states). Please, please pray for a peaceful home and environment.
* My dreams. I know this is a really weird prayer request but I have been having the worst nightmare/ night terrors. I've had issues with this in the past and supposively our malaria medicine can highten dreams, which it definitely is. They are definitely frightening and are starting to become quite distracting; I have 2 yesterday... one during my nap and one during the night. Please be praying that these diminish. I need to stop watching so much CSI haha.
Now to the best part... THE KIDS!! Happy to report that I got to see Edina, my sponsored child!! I pretty much hassled every leader I could, hinting around a lot about how much I wanted to see her! And I got to on my second day there and once more before I left. Unfortunately I don't have the time to go into detail but it was awesome! She is 2 hours from where I am staying so I won't be able to see her that much more; I should have 2 more weekends with her before I leave. It was SO amazing to see her again after 2 years and I feel incredibly greatful that God has answered my prayers to see her again. She is so precious to me. Gah, I love her!
I have so much more to tell but I have to get off the internet now :( We have 16 people and only 4 computers so I have to share lol. Next time I will tell more of the children in Chiwango and what God is doing both in their lives and mine as well. Because of the limited internet time, this is pretty much going to be my outlet. Emailing everyone will take FOREVER so forgive me!
LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
One more day. OMG.
I can't believe this is it! I'm leaving for Africa tomorrow morning!! I just took my first malaria pill!! haha! It's crazy how fast the trip has come and I am so ready to go! God has totally provided for me in preparation for this trip; taken care of everything! Provided closure in areas that, looking back, could have distracted from my focus. Now that the time has finally come, I'm not gonna lie when I say that I'm nervous. Two months in your lifetime is nothing; practically just a memory. But when you're in the moment, living it out, it feels like an eternity.
What I think I'm most nervous about is the change about to take place. I'm very excited don't get me wrong! I am honored to have the opportunity to help others, show them who God is, and tell them about Jesus! There is great responsibility in this and I think that is what is making me nervous. What I'm about to do on this trip has eternal outcomes... that is HUGE! And by change I mean in myself. Typically when we change, we don't realize it until it has already happened. In my case, I know a change is about to happen and it's weird to know ahead of time and also weird because I have no idea how being in a developing country for 2 months is about to impact my future. For all I know, I might stay there (just kidding Mom & Dad lol)!!
Whatever the outcome, I know it is all in God's plan and I have to find peace in that. I'm excited for the vulnerability and uncomfortableness I am about to experience... I have to be reliant on God because I will have no one else. And as crazy as it sounds, I'm so ready.
Psalm 91
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Passport
Hey guys! Quick prayer request.... my passport is still not here! And communication with the passport agency has been the biggest pain! They say it should get here by Monday (after paying an extra $15 for overnight shipping) so please be praying that it does!! Thanks and only 11 more days!!!!!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Revolutionary
"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” -Luke 6:32-36
Today I was thinking about the feeling of "being used". When most of us think about this, it is associated with bad and negative thoughts and past memories of times in our lives when we have been taken advantage of when we least expected it, let alone deserved it. I had this same reaction; just utter distain and hurt. I've had plenty of times in my life, big and small, where people have taken from me... where I have "been used." I bring up this point because today, my eyes were opened and thoughts that were not my own flooded in and renewed me; the past 6 hours have been revolutionary! When thinking about how awful it is to "be used," it dawned on me... why? What does Luke 6:32-36 tell us to do? What have my prayers been lately? This was my duh moment! As Christians we associate being used by God with positive and fulfilling feelings; when God uses us to impact others, we feel great! But being used by God does not always come with such feelings of success and accomplishment. To truly be used by God is to extend yourself in a way where either positive or negative feelings can occur. Most of us are willing to sacrifice if it is accompanied with a positive outcome for oneself, but would we be just as willing if those positive outcomes were replaced with the feeling of "being used?" Taken advantage of? Hated? Non-payment?
The world tells us to do the polar opposite of what Luke 6:32-36 tells us to do. In fact, it tells us to be the polar opposite… “Only be giving and loving to those who deserve it. You are protecting yourself from hurt and future pain. And cutting the people out of your life who don't deserve your love and attention will help you do this. Otherwise you are naive and stupid. ” I realize that I’ve fallen for this straight up lie because living this way has done nothing beneficial for me; it has actually hindered my relationship with God and the potential impact I could have on other people. Instead of the protection and lack of pain that this thought process promises, I'm actually doing more harm. Who am I to decide how I am to be used by God? I say I am willing to sacrifice everything for Him and yet I'm blowing of people who have done me wrong. It is human nature to not want to be giving to someone who isn’t the same back, but this is where we are called to stand out as someone who is different! Not act like the "typical sinner" with such selfish ambitions. Not just to do but to live this way! This is where we fall short because of our sinfulness. We are physically incapable of achieving this level of self-sacrifice, I am completely incapable,… unless we put all our trust and faith in Him daily. “Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it’ (Luke 9:23-24). My life is not mine to live... I live for Jesus and Him alone. I am to die to my desires and make His my own! But, "Will I?" is the question.
The world tells us to do the polar opposite of what Luke 6:32-36 tells us to do. In fact, it tells us to be the polar opposite… “Only be giving and loving to those who deserve it. You are protecting yourself from hurt and future pain. And cutting the people out of your life who don't deserve your love and attention will help you do this. Otherwise you are naive and stupid. ” I realize that I’ve fallen for this straight up lie because living this way has done nothing beneficial for me; it has actually hindered my relationship with God and the potential impact I could have on other people. Instead of the protection and lack of pain that this thought process promises, I'm actually doing more harm. Who am I to decide how I am to be used by God? I say I am willing to sacrifice everything for Him and yet I'm blowing of people who have done me wrong. It is human nature to not want to be giving to someone who isn’t the same back, but this is where we are called to stand out as someone who is different! Not act like the "typical sinner" with such selfish ambitions. Not just to do but to live this way! This is where we fall short because of our sinfulness. We are physically incapable of achieving this level of self-sacrifice, I am completely incapable,… unless we put all our trust and faith in Him daily. “Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it’ (Luke 9:23-24). My life is not mine to live... I live for Jesus and Him alone. I am to die to my desires and make His my own! But, "Will I?" is the question.
Am I fully prepared to ask God to be used to the point of emptiness? By people who have hurt me or disappointed me? Are you? Is anybody really? I know I want to be; I ask that God allows me to extend myself in a way that is not humanly possible but can only be accomplished through Him and Him alone! So that when I interact with others, they do not see me but they see who Jesus is! And when I feel so drained and ready to give up, I have to cling to Jesus because He will renew my hope and give me the strength to continue on. Then and only then will I be able to show love to those who may not "deserve it."
Monday, April 26, 2010
John 17:20-26
Jesus Prays for All Believers
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them." John 17:20-26
This is who I live for. God's son prayed for me, for you, and for those who do not know Him yet. I've never felt so loved.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Attacked
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." -Ephesians 6:12-13
Lately, it has been so hard for me to keep my focus on this trip and on the Lord in general. My life is so incredibly hectic right now! This semester has been full of constant work, projects, and meetings; it is unbelievable how much time grad school takes. With that said, I also have other things going on to take up even more time.... scholarships, finding an internship, figuring out my class schedule for the summer and fall, realizing that I'm technically done with classes after one more semester (SERIOUSLY?!), organizing things for this summer while I'm gone, and fundraising for this trip i.e. baking and selling cupcakes. These past few months have been a whirlwind and it's hard to believe that I only have 2 more weeks left of school!
Even though my life is crazy and at full capacity, I'm ashamed to look at that list and not see time with God anywhere. How can I go about my life and not give Him the quality time He so deserves? I'm trying to live my life for Him and yet all this clutter of activity seems to be interfering with that. Do I think this is a coincidence? No. How ironic is it that my life became SO crazy and busy after my decision to go on a mission trip this summer? Very. Satan is deliberately trying to ambush me. I know this because the closer this trip is getting, the more I struggle in my relationship with the Lord and my preparation for this trip. Even writing this blog has been challenging for me! I can't have it any more and now that I've realized what's going on, I have to fight back. I will not fall for his tricks because I can not; my trip to Malawi is so much bigger than myself and in order to accomplish what the Lord wants from me, I have to focus and be prepared. This summer is not about going to Africa or helping orphans, in fact it's not about me at all. It's about being a servant and learning to give unconditionally in the name of Jesus. I'm ready to be used in whatever way God has planned for me.
So please pray. Ask that the Lord will keep Satan away and guard me from his attacks. And pray this for my teammates because if I am feeling attacked, surely they are as well.
Lately, it has been so hard for me to keep my focus on this trip and on the Lord in general. My life is so incredibly hectic right now! This semester has been full of constant work, projects, and meetings; it is unbelievable how much time grad school takes. With that said, I also have other things going on to take up even more time.... scholarships, finding an internship, figuring out my class schedule for the summer and fall, realizing that I'm technically done with classes after one more semester (SERIOUSLY?!), organizing things for this summer while I'm gone, and fundraising for this trip i.e. baking and selling cupcakes. These past few months have been a whirlwind and it's hard to believe that I only have 2 more weeks left of school!
Even though my life is crazy and at full capacity, I'm ashamed to look at that list and not see time with God anywhere. How can I go about my life and not give Him the quality time He so deserves? I'm trying to live my life for Him and yet all this clutter of activity seems to be interfering with that. Do I think this is a coincidence? No. How ironic is it that my life became SO crazy and busy after my decision to go on a mission trip this summer? Very. Satan is deliberately trying to ambush me. I know this because the closer this trip is getting, the more I struggle in my relationship with the Lord and my preparation for this trip. Even writing this blog has been challenging for me! I can't have it any more and now that I've realized what's going on, I have to fight back. I will not fall for his tricks because I can not; my trip to Malawi is so much bigger than myself and in order to accomplish what the Lord wants from me, I have to focus and be prepared. This summer is not about going to Africa or helping orphans, in fact it's not about me at all. It's about being a servant and learning to give unconditionally in the name of Jesus. I'm ready to be used in whatever way God has planned for me.
So please pray. Ask that the Lord will keep Satan away and guard me from his attacks. And pray this for my teammates because if I am feeling attacked, surely they are as well.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Fundraising
These past few weeks I've been extremely anxious about raising all of the money for my trip. Ever since I've sent out my letters, I've been racking my brain trying to think of unique and original ways to earn all the money I need to finance my trip... so much so that I've had trouble falling asleep on certain nights! I know it is not beneficial to worry about anything; God WILL provide and get me to Africa if that is His will for me. "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"... "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:25-26; 33-34.
How true this verse is! The beauty of my financial situation is that I have to be reliant on God and put 100% faith in Him. The creator of the universe, heaven and hell, and everything that surrounds us... He will take care of everything; God's purpose is bigger than money! Earlier today I came across another person's blog who was raising money for a mission trip. She had such a wonderful perspective and I just had to share:
RAISING SUPPORT … Aren’t these often the two most intimidating words when it comes to going on a missions trip? If you’re like me, doesn’t the idea of sending letters to your friends and family asking them for money make your palms sweat and heart race? I just sent out over 50 letters in the mail yesterday, and I have to admit, part of me felt guilty. Thoughts racing through my head included, “Oh, why am I sending a letter to them? I know they don’t have the margin to support me right now,” or, “These people probably get hit up for money every year from multiple people. Should I add to that?” My need for acceptance so easily overwhelms my thoughts, and I feel like people are going to look down on me for sending them a support letter. But I do it, because even though those thoughts creep into my head another thought is more prevalent.
How true this verse is! The beauty of my financial situation is that I have to be reliant on God and put 100% faith in Him. The creator of the universe, heaven and hell, and everything that surrounds us... He will take care of everything; God's purpose is bigger than money! Earlier today I came across another person's blog who was raising money for a mission trip. She had such a wonderful perspective and I just had to share:
RAISING SUPPORT … Aren’t these often the two most intimidating words when it comes to going on a missions trip? If you’re like me, doesn’t the idea of sending letters to your friends and family asking them for money make your palms sweat and heart race? I just sent out over 50 letters in the mail yesterday, and I have to admit, part of me felt guilty. Thoughts racing through my head included, “Oh, why am I sending a letter to them? I know they don’t have the margin to support me right now,” or, “These people probably get hit up for money every year from multiple people. Should I add to that?” My need for acceptance so easily overwhelms my thoughts, and I feel like people are going to look down on me for sending them a support letter. But I do it, because even though those thoughts creep into my head another thought is more prevalent.
Do I have to raise support? Can’t I just pay for the trip myself? We get asked these questions a lot. And here’s what we say. No, you don’t have to raise support. If you can pay for the trip yourself and want to then that’s your choice. BUT, and here’s the thought that’s in my head when I am raising support … what if raising support isn’t about the money? What if it is about the people? By sending your friends and family a letter telling them what you are doing and asking for support monetarily and through prayer, aren’t you giving them the opportunity to get involved? Aren’t you giving them the opportunity to grow their faith in some way?
Maybe they can’t go on a trip this year because of work, or health, or some other reason. By asking them to come alongside you in some way you are giving them the chance to be a part of something that God is doing. You are giving them the chance to have their faith strengthened as they walk through the journey with you. Sure, they are not getting on the plane with you. They are not physically touching the orphans you are serving, or looking in the face of the college students you meet, or actually hammering in the nails of a new facility. But, they are a part of it, because they helped you get there with their financial donation; they are a part of it, because they are going to God in prayer on your behalf. Some of their prayers include praying for bonds to be formed and praying for life change to occur. And guess what? Because of your willingness to write that letter and send it to them, despite the discomfort you feel, their prayers are answered before you even step foot on a plane. A bond has been formed between you and them, and you experience life change as you trust God for the money to come in and find He is faithful. And ultimately, they experience life change as well as they journey with you and hear about where you went, who you served, and the amazing things that happened because both of you decided to do something.
After reading this, I was so encouraged! And what's awesome is that I totally stumbled on this randomly! God knows my struggles lately and He made sure that I found this. He will take care of my needs. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8
Monday, April 5, 2010
FYI
If you're going to be in ATL April 16-18th you should come with me to the Local, National, and International Medical and Health Volunteerism Conference!
"More than a conference...it's a happening which is attracting some of the most giving and generous humans on earth. Whether they are doctors, nurses, physician assistants, students, or lay people...the people at this gathering want to make a difference. They are a distinct class of people because they so greatly exhibit the empathy gene. They come from all places, whether they are a Christian, Muslim, Hindi, Jewish, etc network of folks who celebrate life by saving lives and reducing suffering, an Indian medical society, a group of 12,000 generous Pakistani doctors living in North America, or a non-profit local inner-city free clinic. They are not in it for the money. The lives they impact on are lives which would not be impacted on if they, themselves, were not there. Already over 100 of these individuals have offered to volunteer their time to speak about their journeys at this conference."
Check it out : http://emoryimvc.webs.com/
"More than a conference...it's a happening which is attracting some of the most giving and generous humans on earth. Whether they are doctors, nurses, physician assistants, students, or lay people...the people at this gathering want to make a difference. They are a distinct class of people because they so greatly exhibit the empathy gene. They come from all places, whether they are a Christian, Muslim, Hindi, Jewish, etc network of folks who celebrate life by saving lives and reducing suffering, an Indian medical society, a group of 12,000 generous Pakistani doctors living in North America, or a non-profit local inner-city free clinic. They are not in it for the money. The lives they impact on are lives which would not be impacted on if they, themselves, were not there. Already over 100 of these individuals have offered to volunteer their time to speak about their journeys at this conference."
Check it out : http://emoryimvc.webs.com/
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter!
I know this might sound a little weird but I feel like today was the first time I realized the true meaning of Easter... what it really means to us as Christians and how it is the sole purpose for believing in Jesus. Of course I know what happened on Easter and how amazing that is for us but what Andy Stanley's message showed me was that Easter was more than Jesus dying for our sins and rising again; it was the physical proof! Maybe I'm the only one but it never dawned on me until today of how impactful that was! He died and CAME BACK TO LIFE! I feel like this is my "duh" moment... this is the foundation of Christianity... but I never really though about it until hearing today's sermon. Andy spoke of what happened after Jesus rose from the grave in Acts and the impact of Peter and John's eye witness accounts. (Check it out here if you have time. It's awesome! http://www.northpoint.org/site/message-mp3)
Imagine what it must have been like to hear about someone coming back to life let alone the man who claimed to be the Son of God! And then you see Him!?! How could anyone deny Him after that?? What more proof can you ask for... He died, in front of hundreds of witnesses, and then came back to life, which was witnessed by hundreds more!! No one can do that except the Son of God! And this, Jesus dying and rising from the dead and Peter and John's account, is the reason that so many converted and chose to believe (Acts 4:4)! Because they had proof (i.e. first-hand accounts) beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was who He claimed to be. Who else in history has proclaimed his future death, died like he said he would, and then came back to life like he said he would? Only one man's name is on that list and it is Jesus. I encourage you to read Acts 3 and 4 and put yourself in the audience's place. Would you believe?
What is so awesome about this story is that it is just as relevant today as it was 2,000 years ago! No one else has done what Jesus did... I dunno about you but I haven't heard anything on the news about some one coming back to life after being dead for 3 days haha. It is history and we even have multiple accounts of it from the apostles! When I thought about why I believe in Jesus, I had no better reasoning than I just do. But today I realized what my reasoning was..... he died and rose again!! And people saw this! And they shared their story of it and people believed! And that is how Christianity spread. The death and resurrection of Jesus is the physical proof we have to set us apart from other religions and teachings; it is why He is so important!
I feel like God revealed this to me today.... this year of all years, at the age of 24, and after hearing an Easter sermon every year for those 24 years... to remind me of the support that I do have when telling others of Him and Jesus! This revelation could not have come at a more perfect time because of my service to Him this summer. It is not my job to convince others of His existence but to tell the undeniable story of Jesus. And from there He will work. In Africa, I will be telling others about Him, His love, and of Jesus and what He did for us. Praise the Lord for His preparation of me! Pray that He continues this in me everyday before, during, and after this trip.
I am humbled by this so much because of how many times I've heard this story yet consistently failed to realize its impact! I am so human and I ask that the Lord reminds me of that everyday, in order that I may remember who I live for and what my life means. "Then he said to them all, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his live will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it'" -Luke 9:23-24.
Imagine what it must have been like to hear about someone coming back to life let alone the man who claimed to be the Son of God! And then you see Him!?! How could anyone deny Him after that?? What more proof can you ask for... He died, in front of hundreds of witnesses, and then came back to life, which was witnessed by hundreds more!! No one can do that except the Son of God! And this, Jesus dying and rising from the dead and Peter and John's account, is the reason that so many converted and chose to believe (Acts 4:4)! Because they had proof (i.e. first-hand accounts) beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was who He claimed to be. Who else in history has proclaimed his future death, died like he said he would, and then came back to life like he said he would? Only one man's name is on that list and it is Jesus. I encourage you to read Acts 3 and 4 and put yourself in the audience's place. Would you believe?
What is so awesome about this story is that it is just as relevant today as it was 2,000 years ago! No one else has done what Jesus did... I dunno about you but I haven't heard anything on the news about some one coming back to life after being dead for 3 days haha. It is history and we even have multiple accounts of it from the apostles! When I thought about why I believe in Jesus, I had no better reasoning than I just do. But today I realized what my reasoning was..... he died and rose again!! And people saw this! And they shared their story of it and people believed! And that is how Christianity spread. The death and resurrection of Jesus is the physical proof we have to set us apart from other religions and teachings; it is why He is so important!
I feel like God revealed this to me today.... this year of all years, at the age of 24, and after hearing an Easter sermon every year for those 24 years... to remind me of the support that I do have when telling others of Him and Jesus! This revelation could not have come at a more perfect time because of my service to Him this summer. It is not my job to convince others of His existence but to tell the undeniable story of Jesus. And from there He will work. In Africa, I will be telling others about Him, His love, and of Jesus and what He did for us. Praise the Lord for His preparation of me! Pray that He continues this in me everyday before, during, and after this trip.
I am humbled by this so much because of how many times I've heard this story yet consistently failed to realize its impact! I am so human and I ask that the Lord reminds me of that everyday, in order that I may remember who I live for and what my life means. "Then he said to them all, 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his live will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it'" -Luke 9:23-24.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
3 months away...
So I've decided to start a blog about my entire African experience... before, during, and after.... so that, those who are interested, can stay up to date and be praying for myself, my team members, and the community we are staying. I've never blogged before, so this is a first. Hopefully I'm not too terrible at it lol! I hope to be able to share with you all the things God is doing in Malawi and through our work with COTN.
It's hard to believe that in less than 3 months I WILL BE IN AFRICA!! Time really has flown by and I know that this trip will get here before I know it! My team members and I are in the process of sending out our support letters with the estimated cost of the trip being $5,000- 6,000. I know that God will provide but I do ask that you continue to pray for this need; because without funding, we cannot participate.
I am so incredibly excited about this opportunity to be in Africa for 2 whole months! And even more excited to serve God the best way I know how... serving others. I pray that he continues to work in me, strengthen my spirit, and prepare me for my mission in Africa. As many of you know, I am getting my masters in public health and want to work with developing countries. So for me this trip is fulfilling both spiritually and professionally, which is a great combination! With that said, I am still nervous because I have never been out of the country for this long before. But I am willing and ready to take that leap of faith, no matter how nervous I may be before I leave!
Please continue to pray for all the many things that we still have to get done and I'm so excited to be able to share this experience with you first hand!
<3, Lauren
It's hard to believe that in less than 3 months I WILL BE IN AFRICA!! Time really has flown by and I know that this trip will get here before I know it! My team members and I are in the process of sending out our support letters with the estimated cost of the trip being $5,000- 6,000. I know that God will provide but I do ask that you continue to pray for this need; because without funding, we cannot participate.
I am so incredibly excited about this opportunity to be in Africa for 2 whole months! And even more excited to serve God the best way I know how... serving others. I pray that he continues to work in me, strengthen my spirit, and prepare me for my mission in Africa. As many of you know, I am getting my masters in public health and want to work with developing countries. So for me this trip is fulfilling both spiritually and professionally, which is a great combination! With that said, I am still nervous because I have never been out of the country for this long before. But I am willing and ready to take that leap of faith, no matter how nervous I may be before I leave!
Please continue to pray for all the many things that we still have to get done and I'm so excited to be able to share this experience with you first hand!
<3, Lauren
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